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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  May 29, 2014 12:36am-1:38am PDT

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to arnold schwarzenegger, carson daly! vampire weekend! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots, ladies and gentlemen, right there. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. hope to see you tomorrow. buh-bye! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- ellen page. lewis black. music from black label society.
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featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ and now, here he is, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: good evening! [ cheers and applause ] i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everyone doing tonight? are we well? [ cheers ] thank you so much. well, let's get started. a toronto newspaper is reporting that rob ford is missing after he failed to show up to the chicago area rehab facility he was supposed to enter. surprising news, to people who are easily surprised. [ light laughter ] hillary clinton told audiences
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at a health conference yesterday that her guilty pleasure is chocolate. "yes, me, too," said bill clinton. "chocolate." [ laughter ] this is pretty cool. today is national tourist appreciation day. and speaking for all new yorkers, i would just like to say we would appreciate it if would you get the hell out of our way! [ cheers ] the sidewalk is not an observation deck. [ light laughter ] some business news. office depot announced plans to close at least 400 stores as part of its merger with office max. bad news for office depot employees. surprising news for people who thought office max and office depot were the same thing. [ light laughter ] people like me. british boy band one direction is considering suing, they are
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considering suing an american condom company for launching a new product called "one erection." [ laughter and applause ] that's true. that's true. the condoms are like one direction in that it is kind of a bummer when someone puts them on. [ laughter ] "the atlantic" reported that more u.s. citizens are going to mexico for dental operations due to cheaper costs. of course, that means they have to lie about flossing in two languages. [ light laughter ] [ speaking spanish ] medical officials across the nation are reporting that more baristas are complaining about wrist-related injuries they get from making drinks. so much for the tough guy image of baristas!
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[ light laughter ] this is interesting. scientists have discovered a new species of spider that escaped predators by cartwheeling away. spiders that cartwheel away. they apparently discovered the new species in my nightmares. not because i'm afraid of spiders, i just hate low level gymnastics. [ light laughter ] not sure how to feel about this. a new study by mastercard shows that dollar bills have more bacteria than a toilet seat. [ audience ews ] a fact that i recently learned is not very interesting to strippers. [ laughter ] fun fact. more bacteria than a toilet seat, but thank you for the dance. [ laughter and applause ] this is a weird story.
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researchers in tel aviv claim to have created a vibrating pill that can help with constipation. [ buzzing ] excuse me, i have to take this. did you miss me? [ laughter ] the 2015 u.s. open for bowling has been canceled due to a lack of interest from sponsors and spectators and bowlers. [ laughter ] other than that though, it's going great. and finally, a new survey in britain shows that one out of six people would have sex with a robot -- -- while five out of six people don't like how you're looking at that roomba. [ light laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, the 8g band! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> seth: how are we doing, 8g band? everybody good? great to see you guys. how are you, fred? >> fred: great. how are you doing? >> seth: i'm doing wonderful. it's so great to have you here this week. i'm so happy. >> fred: i'm happy to be here. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: i love having you here because when you're here, i feel like i learn a new thing about you every day, which is great because i've known you for so long. but there's still new things. and there are so many interesting things about you that i do feel like our audience sometimes probably thinks that you're just making it up off the top of your head. [ light laughter ] you know, because i'm just wondering if this is true. is this true that you're starring in a new cop show? >> fred: yeah. it's called "the two horseshoes." and -- [ laughter ] >> seth: it's called "the two horseshoes." >> fred: it's called "the two horseshoes." and we dress up as horseshoes.
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giant horseshoes, and we just kind of walk around the old west. like the old west, you know what i mean and -- and we just keep things in order. >> seth: you keep saying we. does that mean you have a co-star? >> fred: yes. it's a stunt man we hired who is much better in the horseshoe costume. because it is a very odd costume. -- "where do your legs go?" is always the question. [ laughter ] you know what i mean? so, we designed it so it is a sort of, it comes out as a hat like this. but you still see me. but he is bigger, so we use him. we use him for the legs. you know what i'm saying? he is the legs. >> seth: yeah, no. what -- [ laughter ] what is the -- what is the upside to dancing in a horseshoe costume? >> fred: it's supposed to blend in with the old west, you know what i mean? >> seth: so you're under cover? [ laughter ] >> fred: we're under cover.
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we're under cover. >> seth: so, if i'm like a cattle rustler, i sort of go, "hey, you go check out and make sure the coast is clear." i come back, and it's like "no, it's just, it's just the cattle and then two giant horseshoes." >> fred: it's a tv show. you know what i'm saying? so there is that perception of reality where the criminal as it were, like he'll sort of look out for us. because he won't notice us. >> seth: got it. >> fred: and that's how we go in to arrest him. >> seth: that's great. and what are your characters' names? >> fred: horseshoe 1 -- [ laughter ] and horseshoe 1b. >> seth: that's great. so, it's called "the two horseshoes." and what network is it on? >> fred: cnn. >> seth: congratulations, fred. i'm so happy for you. [ cheers and applause ] "the two horseshoes" on cnn. god, that's great. i'm assuming you play horseshoe 1? >> fred: yes. i'm horseshoe 1. >> seth: okay, that's great. i wouldn't have it any other way. >> fred: of course.
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>> seth: well, that's good news. there's been sort of a saga that's been developing for the last week or so on this show. and what happened was i went to dinner with amy poehler, my dear friend amy poehler. yeah. [ applause ] give it up for amy poehler, although you might want to take that applause back when you hear how she's been behaving. because we went to dinner. we split the bill. we each paid with our credit cards. we have the same credit card. the same type of credit card. and i realized a week later that i have her credit card which meant that she had mine. i felt bad because i had a couple meals on her credit card. so i texted her. "hey, i have your credit card. you have mine." and she wrote back, "i just bought a boat." so i returned her credit card. i sent it over to her apartment. i assumed she would send mine to me. she has not. she's been taking photos of it with her and my credit card in different places. very frustrating. i am going to see her tonight. we're gonna be at a charity event. and i knew that today she was with tina fey. the great tina fey. and i'm very happy about that. [ applause ]
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because tina is a really responsible person. and i feel like she would impress upon amy that it is wrong for amy to still have my credit card. what has now been three weeks, and i'm a little disappointed in tina because here's the photo these two ladies sent me today. [ laughter ] tag. she has the tag on her sunglasses. not happy about this. we have such a great show for you this evening. from "x-men: days of future past," ellen page is here. [ cheers and applause ] love ellen page. also stopping by, comedian lewis black. the very funny lewis black. [ cheers and applause ] and music from black label society. [ cheers and applause ] so, last night, as i'm sure many of you know, was cinco de mayo, and so i went out and i had a couple drinks. and let's just say things got a bit crazy.
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such is life of the sethster. [ light laughter ] the sethster. to be honest with you, i don't even remember most of the night. but our social media team pointed out i could probably piece my night together from people writing about me on twitter. so our social media team has pulled some tweets from last night. let's see what kind of trouble i got into. okay, here we go. "i just saw seth meyers order three shots of tequila. this guy knows how to party. smiley face." [ laughter and applause ] what can i say? i'm a bad boy. all right. let's see if anyone else was at that bar. "just saw seth meyers drink a shot, throw up on the bar, then try to get a refund for his other two shots." [ laughter and applause ] okay, i don't recall that, but i guess sometimes you have to rev down the engine before you can rev it up. if you know what i'm saying. all right. i'm sure this next one is pretty crazy.
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let's see. "at dos caminos and seth meyers just got up on a table and started dancing. what a maniac!" [ cheers and applause ] yeah, see, like that guy said, i'm a straight up maniac. told you. okay, well, hold on. he tweeted again a minute later. let's see. "false alarm, he's on the table because he saw a mouse on the floor. he says 'the mouse leaves or i do.' #eek." okay, well, mice are gross and they carry diseases. so, actually that was pretty smart. oh, sorry wait, there is one more from him. "turns out not a mouse. just a big jalapeno popper and he still won't come down." all right. maybe this night started a little on the tracks, but i'm sure at some point the old seth train went off the rails. let's skip ahead a bit. okay, look at this one. this is from the emergency room. this ought to be good. "sitting in the e.r. after getting into a nasty bar brawl and who should i run into but seth meyers. #weekend warriors." now we're talking. who knows what i did?
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who knows how i got hurt? maybe i went stage diving or fell trying to surf on the roof of a cab. well, here's a tweet from a doctor. this should tell us. "just treated a panicky seth meyers in the e.r. for a suspicious mole. #not an emergency. #freckle." [ laughter and applause ] you know what? i'm pretty sure it's illegal for doctors to go around revealing that kind of information on twitter. okay. i guess there's no more tweets from last night. i guess we'll never know what happened after that. >> fred: seth, maybe you tweeted something. did you check your own twitter? >> seth: i did not. that is a great idea, fred, let's find out. all right. here are my tweets from last night. "$1.19 for dollar menu fries? bizarro world called. they want their math back." [ laughter ] "stupid mcdonald's manager says i'm not allowed behind the counter. whatever happened to have it your way?" obviously, i guess i was drunk enough to get burger king confused with mcdonalds. "so, it is illegal to doze off in a booth in mcdonald's now. #russia." all right.
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it looks like this goes on for a few hours. you know, it seems like i've got a bunch of tweets to delete. so let's take a break. we'll be back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ where you can shop fifty percent more awarded and highly rated appliances than anyone else. save 40% or more on appliance super buys... like 46% off this kenmore fridge. and 41% off this kenmore laundry pair. plus get free delivery on all appliance orders over $399. sears. performance starts here.
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but we do have a whole lot of coverage. all for just $35 dollars a month; after a $5 credit for using auto pay. so everyone can feel like this! the new cricket wireless. something to smile about. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everyone! [ cheers and applause ]
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i am a big history buff. love history and i discovered recently that the ancestors of many of today's public figures had their own significant accomplishments. well, you guys are in for a real treat because i'm going to tell you all about them now in a segment we call, "famous ancestors of the famous." ♪ >> seth: in 1916, pharrell williams's great grandfather, morrell williams -- [ light laughter ] -- opened a hat shop in new york city offering oversized top hats. the style failed to catch on and the only customer was himself. although, his fortune turns around when he writes the most popular song of 1916, "i'm feeling ever so gay." [ laughter ] in 1455, politician baroque obama introduced a health care program to make leeches accessible to everyone. further, he promised that if you like your leeches, you can keep your leeches. [ laughter and applause ] unfortunately, due to a security error, all the leeches escaped
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and returned to a nearby swamp. in 1649 in los westfield, england, the national bird association or nba owner dunwald sterling -- [ light laughter ] -- causes controversy when townspeople discover a secret scroll he has written to a local tavern wench instructing her not to bring any ravens to his bird shows, only doves. [ laughter and applause ] he is banned for life. until he dies of old age at 36. in 1176 in florence, italy, famous italian stage actor -- georgio aclooney finally decides to give up his seductive ways and marry. thousands of italian women along the tuscan countryside throw themselves onto the rocks in dismay. [ light laughter ] in 632 bc, in athens, greece, olympian athlete barryus bondsopolous is forced to flee the city after he is suspected of drinking a magic elixir after he throws a discus 7,000 feet. [ light laughter ]
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while no proof is ever found, his misdeeds were obvious to everyone when his head grew three laurel leaf sizes in one year. also his testicles were really small. so small that even socrates was like, "uh-hum, no thank you." [ light laughter ] in the year 345 ad, actress halle berry consumes a mysterious potion and never ages again. she goes on to win an academy award in 2002 at the age of 1,657. in 1846, in reading, pennsylvania, little amish girl milicent cyrus shocks everyone in her conservative village by inventing the three-quarter sleeve. [ light laughter ] then a frock that exposed the top of her feet -- she is later cast out of town after she is caught licking a plow. [ laughter ] her father, william ray cyrus was left with a heart that was both achy and breaky. [ laughter and applause ]
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in 1778, the mayor of the territory in new france which is modern day canada, ro-bare ford, was ordered to spend two weeks in the stocks after a painting of him and an illegal opium den was discovered. even after the embarrassing event and punishment, he somehow remained mayor and went on to rule all of new france. he even built an alliance with the algonquin tribe who affectionately called ro-bare "sacamawachi," which roughly translates to "big tomato face." [ light laughter ] and that's "famous ancestors of the famous!" [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with ellen page! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ female announcer ] you never know what might come your way. a 24-speed bike with 7 gears you will never use. an aquarium for the fish you named but shouldn't have.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everyone! our first guest is an academy award nominated actress who reprises her role as kitty pride in the upcoming "x-men days of future past" in theaters friday may 23rd. let's take a look. >> time's up! >> let's go!
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♪ ♪ >> seth: please welcome ellen page! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> seth: welcome. >> thank you. >> seth: it's great to be back at 30 rock with you. last time i saw you here was like 2008 when you hosted "snl." >> that was very fun. very fun. >> seth: it was a really fun week. but then kitty pride you played before then in 2006, right? >> yeah, when i was like 18. >> seth: that's crazy. what's it like to return to a character after that long? >> i mean, it's awesome. especially that one. i mean, you're always nervous because you don't want to screw anything up for people who, rightfully so, have been so invested with it for so long. but it is a blast to be back. it's the greatest cast you could possibly work with. so -- >> seth: you get to work with the two coolest dudes on earth, patrick stewart and ian mckellen. >> i know. a friendship that i think we should really all aspire to, quite frankly. >> seth: we all should be, like, lucky enough to find our ian or patrick. >> i think so, yeah. >> seth: we had them on our show, they were great. they seem so genuine. >> they absolutely are. so you know, you go from watching them doing this like extraordinary monologue and then it's, like, "cut!" and then the two are just the funniest, loveliest men you could hang out with.
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>> seth: they're goofballs. they're so serious -- >> total goofballs. >> seth: yeah, that's great. i'm glad that even though you took a long time off between parts you still remember how to fade through walls. >> yes. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. 'cause that would be -- once you can't do that, how can you play kitty pride? >> yeah. i lost it a little bit. >> seth: how do you -- i mean, assuming there are so many effects in a movie like this. are you constantly like -- when there are like giant sentinels, what are you looking at when you're shooting? >> it's a tennis ball. it's a tennis ball. >> seth: you use tennis balls? >> i have a phobia of tennis balls. [ laughter ] >> so it works really well. >> is that an old phobia? that just came from your -- >> always just had it. >> seth: that's great. >> tennis comes on and i have to get out of the room. yeah. >> seth: i hope it's not coming through too much, but i'm a huge comic book fan. >> mm hmm. >> seth: so, i'm very excited about this. but i'm also so excited that you are doing an adaptation of "queen and country." >> yes. >> which is one of my favorite, you know, british spy comics. rachel maddow was on the show -- she an i geeked out over it. and you're playing the lead in that. >> so are you telling me that's my in with rachel maddow?
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[ laughter ] >> seth: you've got an in with rachel maddow. i think that you -- i call her. i'm like, "i have this really cool person i want to you talk to." >> anyway, sorry, yeah. you distracted me. >> seth: no, i get same way around rachel maddow. yeah. >> seth: yeah. >> who does not? >> seth: who does not? >> okay, what were we talking about? >> seth: oh my gosh, "queen and country." >> i couldn't be more excited or feel absolutely more grateful. the script's awesome and the character's amazing. so, i just can't wait to do it. >> seth: that's great. and then you have done, we talked about tennis balls -- sorry to bring it up again. but that's the only way you're gonna learn is if people keep bringing it up. >> yeah, i know. i know. are you maury povich all of a sudden? [ laughter ] >> someone's going to come out with a big box of tennis balls. >> seth: yeah. roger federer is here. >> yeah, okay. [ laughter ] >> seth: now, did you a video game as well. but that's like very -- what are you -- i mean, when you have to do the motion capture things, what's that whole world like? >> um, it's kind of amazing. it's like the greatest acting exercise you could possibly have.
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i mean, you're in the studio. you're surrounded by 70 cameras. you're in a suit covered in balls. and you have like 88 -- >> seth: what kind of balls? [ laughter ] >> like little silver balls. okay? calm down. >> seth: okay. thank god. >> no! not tennis balls. that's in my contract. no tennis balls can be anywhere near me. so you have little dots on your face -- like 88 little dots and you're in this space. it's just like you and your imagination. i mean, it could not be a more extraordinary acting exercise. >> seth: that's great, but truly the most extraordinary thing you're doing if you don't mind me saying -- >> oh, please! >> seth: you were using twitter and you were renaming people's dogs. >> uh huh. >> seth: how does this come about? >> this came about where i was hanging out with a friend of mine and i renamed her dogs. just because i'm not sure why. >> seth: were you unsatisfied with their current dog names? >> no, their names were fine. it's just they needed -- my names were better. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] >> then i said something on twitter like "i like to rename my friends' dogs, like a total jerk." and then someone sent me their dog and i renamed it and i just, like, got inundated with
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pictures of dogs and cats and snakes and hamsters and proceeded to rename them. >> seth: and this is a service you're providing for free to your fans. [ laughter ] >> it is 100% free. >> seth: that's great. >> i feel very honored to do it. >> seth: and it's not like a pyramid scheme where it starts free and then like -- >> shut up. >> seth: i want to show -- do you remember what you rename them? will you remember -- >> i think so. >> seth: do you remember what you -- >> pizza. >> seth: that's pizza? that's a pretty good name for that dog. all right. what did you name this one? >> beck. >> seth: beck? after the musician? >> it looks like beck a little bit. >> seth: it looks a little bit like beck. that's great. this is a good one. this is lena dunham's dog. >> that's lena dunham's dog that i renamed miranda. >> seth: miranda. [ laughter ] >> turns out was a boy but i was like, you know, "he doesn't believe in a binary gender system." >> seth: you could tell from his face. >> could you tell, like, miranda is really pushing boundaries. >> seth: do you -- i'm going to show you apicture of my dog. do you want to know my dog's name, my existing name? or do you just wanna -- >> no. we can just go for it.
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barbara. >> seth: barbara? >> barbara. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: all right. this is true, it's frisbee. >> oh, that's a great name. >> seth: it's a good name, right. >> that's a great name. >> seth: but, uh, we -- my wife and i were talking. 'cause my grandmother and her sister were barbara and b.b., and that's what we want to name our next two dogs. so it's very close. it's pretty amazing. that's really amazing. [ applause ] >> seth: but now here's a real serious one. our guitarist, seth jabour -- it's really confusing because we have the same name. can you give me a new name for him? [ laughter ] >> brent. >> seth: okay, great. thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: and i just want to say real quick, you gave a really beautiful speech back -- i guess on valentine's day, right? >> mm hmm. >> seth: at this human rights' campaign. what was it called? time to thrive? >> yes, yes. >> seth: okay. but you came out and it was such a beautiful, courageous speech. and i imagine you're getting a lot of great feedback for that. >> i am. thank you. >> seth: yes.
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but you know, kitty pride aside, i think that you are -- you're just the best. >> thanks, man. >> seth: and the perfect person to play these heroes. >> thanks. >> seth: so thank you so much for being on the show. >> thank you. >> seth: "x-men days of future past" opens in theaters may 23rd! ellen page, everyone. we'll be right back with comedian lewis black. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ female announcer ] harsh sun,
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our next guest is a "new york times" best-selling author and grammy- award winning comedian. his latest standup special "old yeller live at the borgata" is available now on epix. please welcome lewis black! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: thank you so much for being here. i'm such a big fan. >> well, thank you. >> seth: it's great to have you. you hosted a benefit here in new york for cystic fibrosis last night? >> the cystic fibrosis foundation. we did a huge show last night. and jon stewart was there, and whoopi goldberg and joy behar, kathleen madigan, a whole bunch of -- we did a whole bunch of videos. we did it and we raised a lot of
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money for a really terrific organization. >> seth: that's great. congratulations. [ applause ] >> seth: it was a big weekend. you're very -- obviously very interested in politics. a big weekend in washington, d.c. with the white house correspondents' dinner. did you watch the speech? [ laughter ] >> no. and i can't figure out why people would. it is one of the -- you've done it. >> seth: i did it, yeah. [ laughter ] >> you know, i mean, seriously -- i did the congressional correspondents' dinner. which is at least like aaa ball. you know? it's a cut down. but as a result, you know, it's not a celebrity room. it's -- >> seth: right. >> it's a room filled with schmucks. [ laughter ] but to perform in front of people who aren't really -- they're all looking around, they're not looking that way. >> seth: yeah, it is the worst room i've ever played as far as that.
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'cause there's also circular tables so, like half the people are like this. >> yeah. [ light laughter ] it's really -- washington, when it comes to trying to find spaces to do comedy -- you know, one of the things that they miss is finding a good room. i mean, you might as well -- look, it's no different than when i was a standup and had to play a holiday inn in like, hackensack. [ laughter ] it's just a conference room. i mean, really, guys? >> seth: yeah. it's really rough. >> and it is a horrible experience. with the -- it's one thing for me to talk about these people. it's another thing for me to be 10 feet from them. >> seth: right. who was near you when you were doing it? >> now, the pope had just died. so i was worried all week that it was going to be george bush and what would i do? so i prepped for that, so at i didn't turn and my face made some odd, you know, shock. [ laughter ]
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and then -- but it was dick cheney. >> seth: yeah. >> vice president cheney is three feet from me. >> seth: big laugher? [ light laughter ] >> he seemed to love me. which just freaked me out. [ laughter ] and then it was -- the other side was mitch mcconnell. who, who is not a happy person. and apparently is storing acorns or something for the winter in his little chubby cheeks. the guy was a prick! [ laughter ] yeah! i'm not kidding. because you're sitting there -- your obligation on the day is, no matter what is going on, unless it is completely stupid or disgusting, is if there is a comic there, you smile. >> seth: right. >> you just pretend, okay? that's how you got to be -- you know, your job is pretending you are a leader. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> never smiled. i turn to dick cheney -- "ha ha ha!" and then him. >> seth: well, if he smiles the acorns fall out. now -- >> one other thing -- the final, the whole evening ends. my parents are there and they -- paul wolfowitz, rushes up to them. he's this neo-conservative which means, i don't know what it means. and they -- he rushes up to my mother. and my mother does not like him. and he hugs her. and tells her how much he likes me. and my mother, after she got out of the hug, came racing over to me and said, "don't you ever do anything like this again." [ laughter ] >> seth: very nice. very nice of her to be so
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supportive. [ applause ] so, you don't seem that optimistic about washington, d.c. in general. two years until the next election. do you have any expectations of what's gonna happen until then? >> i think the excitement for us is to see what we are not going to do next. and it is really going to be great. >> seth: what we're not going to do next? >> yeah. i mean, we're gonna try to do things, but we're not. so we'll try to -- you know, we tried to find the plane. no luck. [ laughter ] oh, come on! [ laughter ] after five weeks of that, i mean seriously it turned cnn so a -- that network. i started watching cnn a lot. not because of the plane, but i felt that cnn's service is, it gives you a good idea of what it's gonna be like when you have a stroke. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: no, it's okay. it was preparing you. >> it's preparing me for --
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>> seth: you have a lot of opinions on some issues. i'd love to run through some of them now, get your take. social security. >> social security. we've got to do something. are we going to do something? no. [ laughter ] everything is going to be fine until whatever it is, 2027 -- which they act is like a million years away. it's like ten minutes. so i think to raise -- i think, just simply, because my parents are now 96 and 95. so you have to, because the -- we're growing older as a country. >> seth: right. >> raise age of retirement from 65 to 67. that's simple. you know. a lot of people who are 65 and they're watching it -- they're probably just yelling at the tv set. but you know, not now. but do it. just do it. and don't -- because and my parents lived this long, don't blame the breakdown of the system on them. you know? "you grew too old! you people grew too old!" [ laughter ]
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>> seth: what about gun control? >> gun control. i would like to call it gun violence. 'cause you say "gun control" and now 6,000 people turn their tvs off. "i know what he's going to say!" >> seth: right. >> you know? 'cause they lose their minds when they hear that word. i think the problem is we have two cultures. you know, we have a gun culture. all the arguments break down to this. we have a gun culture and people who were not raised in a gun culture. i was not raised in a gun culture. i was raised by two jews who never used guns. and -- it's not a club. [ laughter and applause ] and it was, two jews and they didn't hunt for game. no, they hunted for buffets. >> seth: right. you don't need guns for that. immigration. >> immigration. i know we're not going to do anything, 'cause that's really the life line of the country. and it always has been. and my family, emigrated here.
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every -- most people's families -- we didn't sprout! [ light laughter ] that's the way it works. let's not do anything and let's see how that works for us. just allow anybody in. let's really just -- seriously. build walls around and -- you know one way to stop this whole thing of "boy, these people want to come here"? let's start, instead of making us look so great when we kind of advertise ourselves to the world, make ourselves look lousy. like this is a terrible place to live. no, you don't want to come here. [ laughter ] >> seth: do you think when people, politicians say this is the greatest country in the world, they're creating the immigration problem? >> of course they are! say this is a dump. i don't even know why i'm here. >> seth: i think that's a very effective plan. i hope you run for office one day. these are excellent platforms. >> you know what my platform is gonna be? >> seth: what's that? >> we're gonna invade tahiti if i run. >> seth: why tahiti? >> because it's great! >> seth: there you go. that makes perfect sense.
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lewis black, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] you're gonna be in chicago, minneapolis, rockford, illinois, all this weekend. we'll be right back with black label society. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ what if you could shrink your pores just by washing your face?
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[ female announcer ] neutrogena® pore refining cleanser. alpha-hydroxy and exfoliating beads work to clean and tighten pores so they can look half their size. pores...shrink 'em down to size! [ female announcer ] pore refining cleanser. neutrogena®. ♪ everybody here got the lunchtime blues ♪ ♪ they need to be inspired something better than the rest. ♪ new lipton peach iced tea ♪ with that ham and cheese ♪ ♪ it tastes so sunshine-y [ carl ] ♪ drink it down and you'll believe ♪ ♪ the taste of peachiosity [ carl ] ♪ drink it down and you'll believe ♪ no one says to stop and see the roses, but to stop and smell the roses. because scent makes us feel
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: since the late '90s, my next guests have been featured at the forefront of the hard rock genre. here to perform, "angle of mercy," please welcome black label society. ♪ ♪ i woke alone today for all the birds have flown ♪ ♪ inside this empty house which no longer feels like home ♪
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♪ no angel of mercy is gonna hear my call ♪ ♪ lord no no angel of mercy to dry the tears that shall not fall ♪ ♪ ♪ i woke alone today amidst life's killing fields of war ♪ ♪ door of memories
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closed forevermore ♪ ♪ no angel of mercy is gonna hear my call lord no ♪ ♪ no angel of mercy to dry the tears that shall not fall ♪ ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ ♪ no angel of mercy is gonna hear my call
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lord no ♪ ♪ no angel of mercy to dry the tears that shall not fall ♪ ♪ no angel of mercy is gonna hear my call lord no ♪ ♪ no angel of mercy to dry the tears that shall not fall ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: black label society. the album, "the catacombs of the black vatican" is available now. for tour dates, go to blacklabelsociety.com. stay tuned for more "late night." [ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to ellen page, lewis black. once again black label society. and of course the 8g band. stay tuned for carson daly. we'll see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ >> carson: hey, what's up everybody? you're watching nbc and it's time for "last call." tonight we're going to feature matt fulchiron in our "comedy spotlight" and great music from sir sly from the el rey. but first, it's all about "the broken circle breakdown," and incredible belgi film that's filled with tattoos, bluegrass, and heartache. it's up for best foreign language statue at this year's oscars and right now it's the subject of the "last call" spotlight. from basement tavern in santa monica, take a look. >> it's very important that there is music in that story. structurally it is very important that there is music because it tells a story,

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